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Marriage
God saw that is was not good for man to be alone. Genesis 2:18. Therefore,
He established the marriage institution and enunciated the law of marriage
for all the children of Adam to the close of time. God Himself gave Adam
one wife as a companion. "He ordained that men and women should be united
in holy wedlock, to rear families whose members, crowned with honor, should
be recognized as members of the family above." Ministry of Healing, p.
356. According to the plan of God, in the marriage relationship, every
man should consider his wife as his second self, "bone of his bones and
flesh of his flesh." Genesis 2:18, 23, 24; Mark 10:6-8; Ephesians 5:28,
29; Colossians 3:19.
Although it was degraded by sin, this divine institution must be restored
to its original condition among God's people before the second coming
of Jesus. Acts 3:20, 21; Mark 10:5-9.
When marriage is conducted according to the will of God:
a. It guards the moral purity of men and women and ensures the happiness
of mankind. Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 7:2-9; Psalm 128:1-6; Proverbs
5:18; 31:10-31.
b. It provides for man's social needs. Genesis 2:18.
c. It elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature
of the human beings. Proverbs 18:22 19:14; 1 Peter 3:1,7.
d. It ensures the survival and multiplication of the human race in a
moral and healthy manner. Genesis 1:27, 28.
It has been God's purpose from the very beginning that the marriage
vow should bind both parties to each other by indissoluble ties "for life."
Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:11, 12; Luke 16:18. Therefore, divorce is not in
harmony with the will of God. Malachi 2:14-16. In case of separation,
both are to remain single until the death of the other partner or until
they are reconciled to each other. Romans 7:1-3; 1 Corinthians 7:10-15,
39. (Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 are explained in separate publications.
Christians should be united in marriage only with those of like faith.
Marriage with an unbeliever (non-member) is a serious sin and a separation
from Christ. Exodus 34:12, 16; Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; Nehemiah 13:23-27;
2 Corinthians 6:14.
As a child of God, a subject of Christ's kingdom, the purchase of His
blood, how can you connect yourself with one who does not acknowledge
His claims, who is not controlled by His Spirit? The commands I have quoted
are not the word of man, but of God. Though the companion of your choice
were in all other respects worthy (which he is not), yet he has not accepted
the truth for this time; he is an unbeliever, and you are forbidden of
heaven to unite yourself with him. You cannot, without peril to your soul,
disregard this divine injunction." Testimonies for the Church, vol.
5, pp. 364-365.
"In the youthful mind, marriage is clothed with romance, and it is difficult
to divest it of this feature, with which imagination covers it, and to
impress the mind with a sense of the weighty responsibilities involved
in the marriage vow. This vow links the destinies of the two individuals
with bonds which nought but the hand of death should sever."Testimonies
for the Church, vol. 4, pp. 506-507.
Although polygamy was tolerated in the Old Testament times contrary
to God's original purpose, only monogamous marriages are accepted under
the Christian Dispensation. 1 Corinthians 7:2; Ephesians 5:23, 33; Matthew
19:4-6; Malachi 2:15.
"Polygamy was practiced at an early date. It was one of the sins that
brought the wrath of God upon the antediluvian world."Patriarchs
and Prophets, p. 338.
The marriage relationship represents the union that exists between Christ
and His church. Isaiah 54:4, 5; Jeremiah 3:14; Ephesians 5:24-28; Hosea
2:19, 20.
"God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its
originator the Creator of the universe. 'Marriage is honorable' (Hebrews
13:4); it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the
two institutions that, after the Fall, Adam brought with him beyond the
gates of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed
in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness
of the race, it provides for man's social needs, it elevates the physical,
the intellectual, and the moral nature." Patriarchs and Prophets,
p. 46.
"The family tie is the closest, the most tender and sacred, of any on
earth. It was designed to be a blessing to mankind. And it is a blessing
wherever the marriage covenant is entered into intelligently, in the fear
of God, and with due consideration for its responsibilities."The
Ministry of Healing, p. 356-357.
Prerequisites
"Before assuming the responsibilities involved in marriage, young men
and young women should have such an experience in practical life as will
prepare them for its duties and its burdens. Early marriages are not to
be encouraged. A relation so important as marriage and so far‑reaching
in its results should not be entered upon hastily, without sufficient
preparation, and before the mental and physical powers are well developed.
"The parties may not have worldly wealth, but they should have the far
greater blessing of health. And in most cases there should not be a great
disparity in age. A neglect of this rule may result in seriously impairing
the health of the younger. And often the children are robbed of physical
and mental strength. They cannot receive from an aged parent the care
and companionship which their young lives demand, and they may be deprived
by death of the father or the mother at the very time when love and guidance
are most needed.
"It is only in Christ that a marriage alliance can be safely formed.
Human love should draw its closest bonds from divine love. Only where
Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection."The
Ministry of Healing, p. 358.
Sacred Circle
"Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let
neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake
or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to
each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each
other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness
of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage,
instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning
of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart,
is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.
Purity and Happiness
"To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every
woman have her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:1.
"Marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the [human]
race." PP 46.
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13:4.
Every Christian should carefully consider the guidelines contained in
the Bible and in the Testimonies. 1 Corinthians 6:18; 7:1-13, 27, 28,
39; Colossians 3;18, 19.
"Around every family there is a sacred circle that should be kept unbroken.
Within this circle no other person has a right to come. Let not the husband
or the wife permit another to share the confidences that belong solely
to themselves."The Ministry of Healing, pp. 360-361.
"Avoid the first approach to danger. The soul's interests cannot be
trifled with. Your capital is your character. Cherish it as you would
a golden treasure. Moral purity, self-respect, a strong power of resistance,
must be firmly and constantly cherished. There should not be one departure
from reserve; one act of familiarity, one indiscretion, may jeopardize
the soul in opening the door to temptation, and the power of resistance
becomes weakened."Adventist Home, p. 404.
"How careful should the husband and father be to maintain his loyalty
to his marriage vows! ò Here is where many are delinquent. Their heart
imaginings are not of the pure, holy character which God requiresò. To
married men I am instructed to say, It is to your wives, the mothers of
your children, that your respect and affection are due."Adventist
Home, pp. 336-337.
"If [our sisters] occupy this position [of humbleness, modesty, reserve],
they will not be burdened with undue attention from gentlemen in the church
and out. All will feel that there is a sacred circle of purity around
around these God-fearing womenò"Adventist Home, p. 334.
"Many parents do not obtain the knowledge that they should in the married
life. They are not guarded lest Satan take advantage of them and control
their minds and their lives. They do not see that God requires them to
control their married lives from any excesses. But very few feel it to
be a religious duty to govern their passions. They have united themselves
in marriage to the object of their choice, and therefore reason that marriage
sanctifies the indulgence of the baser passions. Even men and women professing
godliness give loose rein to their lustful passions, and have no thought
that God holds them accountable for the expenditure of vital energy, which
weakens their hold on life and enervates the entire system."Testimonies
for the Church, vol. 2, p. 472.
"Those professing to be Christians . . . should duly consider the result
of every privilege of the marriage relation, and sanctified principle
should be the basis of every action. In very many cases the parents .
. . have abused their marriage privileges, and by indulgence have strengthened
their animal passions. It is carrying that which is lawful to excess that
makes it a grievous sin." The Adventist Home, p. 122.
"By accepting Christ as His personal Saviour, man is brought into the
same close relation to God, and enjoys His special favor as does His own
beloved Son. He is honored and glorified and intimately associated with
God, his life being hid with Christ in God. O what love, what wondrous
love! This is my teaching of moral purity."Education, p. 255.
"The grace of Christ, and this alone, can make [the marriage] institution
what God designed it should bean agent for the blessing and uplifting
of humanity. And thus the families of earth, in their unity and peace
and love, may represent the family of heaven."Thoughts from the
Mount of Blessings, p. 65.
The Christian Family
After creating Adam and Eve, God joined them together as husband and
wife, blessed them, and then told them: "Be fruitful and multiply, and
replenish the earth, and subdue it." Genesis 1:28. It was God's purpose
that the earth should be populated with beings created in His own image,
composed of families that would bring glory to Him and become members
of the larger family in heaven. Isaiah 45:18; Ephesians 3:14, 15. Although
God's original purpose was sidetracked as a result of man's sin, its ultimate
fulfillment is certain. Romans 8:28; Revelation 21:3, 5.
The family is the beginning of society. The Christian family is one
in which God is recognized as the supreme object of worship. He is the
head, protector, guide, and instructor of such families. The Christian
family is the smallest organic unit of God's church on earth. Matthew
18:20. The Christian family is also a school where its members are both
teachers and students who share their knowledge and learn from each other.
The Word of God, together with the book of nature, should be the main
source of instruction in the family school. The object of the family firm
should be to prepare its students for usefulness in this life and for
graduation to the school above. Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Psalm 128:1-6.
A special work of restoration in the family has been prophesied to take
place before the second coming of Christ. Malachi 4:5, 6.
The Husband and Father
The Christian husband, as the father and priest of the family, is its
protector, instructor, guide, and provider. Genesis 3:19; 1 Corinthians
11:3. This is the role assigned to him by God. He is responsible for the
spiritual, mental, and physical welfare of his family. Ephesians 6:4;
5:28-31, 33; 1 Timothy 5:8; 1 Peter 3:7.
In conjunction with his wife, he is to teach his children to love and
obey God, and train them for usefulness in this life and the life to come,
according to instructions given in the Bible. As the priest in the family,
the father is the chief one responsible for the religious instruction
and training of his children. He is also the one to lead out in the family
morning and evening worship services. Genesis 18:19; 35:2-4; Joshua 24:15;
Colossians 3:21.
The Wife and Mother
The Christian wife, as mother, is the main teacher of the children in
the family, especially in their early years. She has a great and important
responsibility in training and educating them in accordance with the instructions
given her in the Word of God. Together with her husband, she is responsible
for their spiritual, mental, and physical wellbeing, and to develop a
character in her children after the divine similitude for time and eternity.
While the father is the houseband of the family, the mother is the homemaker.
Proverbs 31:10-31; Ephesians 5:22-24, 33; 1 Thessalonians 5:23; 1 Timothy
5:4; Titus 2:4, 5.
The Children in the Family
Children are the heritage of the Lord. Psalm 127:3-5; Proverbs 17:6.
They are the future of society and of the church of God on earth. They
have been entrusted to fathers and mothers with the object of being trained,
and educated by them to become members of the Lord's family above, and
useful members of society while here on earth. Psalm 144:12; Isaiah 8:18.
Children are to learn to love, honor and respect their parents and obey
them as it is fit in the Lord. Exodus 20:12. They should also learn to
love and obey God, and to respect ministers, teachers, rulers and all
others to whom God has delegated authority. Children should be educated
and encouraged to prepare themselves to become co-workers with God on
earth by learning trades and/or professions which could help to advance
His kingdom and hasten the coming of Christ. Leviticus 19:32; 2 Kings
2:23, 24; Psalm 78:2-7; Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20.
"God created man for His own glory, that after test and trial the human
family might become one with the heavenly family. It was God's purpose
to re-populate heaven with the human family, if they would show themselves
obedient to His every word. Adam was to be tested, to see whether he would
be obedient, as the loyal angels, or disobedient."SDA Bible Commentary,
vol. 1, p. 1082.
"In early times the father was the ruler and priest of his own family,
and he exercised authority over his children, even after they had families
of their own. His descendants were taught to look up to him as their head,
in both religious and secular matters. This patriarchal system of government
Abraham endeavored to perpetuate, as it tended to preserve the knowledge
of God. It was necessary to bind the members of the household together,
in order to build up a barrier against the idolatry that had become so
widespread and so deep-seated. Abraham sought by every means in his power
to guard the inmates of his encampment against mingling with the heathen
and witnessing their idolatrous practices, for he knew that familiarity
with evil would insensibly corrupt the principles. The greatest care was
exercised to shut out every form of false religion and to impress the
mind with the majesty and glory of the living God as the true object of
worship."Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 141.
"In order for parents and teachers to do this work [educating their
children], they must themselves understand 'the way' the child should
go. This embraces more than merely having a knowledge of books. It takes
in everything that is good, virtuous, righteous, and holy. It comprehends
the practice of temperance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love to
God and to one another. In order to attain this object, the physical,
mental, moral, and religious education of children must have attention."Testimonies
for the Church, vol. 3, pp. 131-132.
"Too much importance cannot be placed upon the early training of children.
The lessons learned, the habits formed, during the years of infancy and
childhood, have more to do with the formation of the character and the
direction of the life than have all the instruction and training of after
years."Ministry of Healing, p. 380.
Mothers may have acquired knowledge of many things, but they have not
acquired the essential knowledge unless they have a knowledge of Christ
as a personal Saviour. If Christ is in the home, if mothers have made
Him their counselor, they will educate their children from their very
babyhood in the principles of true religion."Child Guidance, p.
472.
"The greatest evidence of the power of Christianity that can be presented
to the world is a well-ordered, well-disciplined family."Testimonies
for the Church, vol. 4, p. 304.
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