All my life I have been a Christian. I grew up attending services regularly, and I still do. I learned the Bible truths and was faithful to the mandates of my religion. I’m what you call the proverbial “good girl.” This makes me think of the apostle Paul’s declaration in Phillipians 3:5, 6: “Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.” And for a long time I thought that this is what I needed to be doing to find favor with God.

All that time I was thinking that God should be happy with my efforts since I honored my parents, kept my wits about me in college, and everyone knew I was a Christian, participating in and directing youth events in my local Field, and so on and so forth. I look back at that person and wince a little bit. I mean, I can’t blame her because she thought she was doing the right thing, but the motives were completely in the wrong place.

That same girl struggled with her purpose. People would say, “Serve God, and you’ll be happy.” So that’s what I tried to do, in my own way of course, under the delusion that I knew the best way to serve God. Unfortunately, from experience I can tell you that that leads down to the road of disappointment and dissatisfaction, because if you’ve ever read 1 Corinthians 13:1–3, there should be a key factor driving everything a Christian person does: “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” If you missed that last part, like I did, let’s repeat it: “And have not charity, I Am Nothing.” Yikes! Love, is that what it’s really all about?

In fact, as I have now realized, it is. Love changes everything. It’s funny, because in all my life the thing that made the largest impact on my life and way of thinking was when I understood that God loves me. Let me explain. You would think that growing up in the church and hearing of this love constantly, it would make sense to me. I even remember having conversations where I would mention or agree that this was so important. The first song you learn in Sabbath is, “Jesus loves me.” Really! But I think that though we know it to be true, we don’t really believe, grasp, or meditate on this.

The reason love is so important is because it changes everything. Love gives meaning to your profession. For example, you can see the difference in someone who has a passion for his or her job and someone who just does it for the financial gain. The motive for the job changes how committed you will be to it. So it is with the Christian profession and the God we profess to follow.

When we realize that God is love and that all His motives are for love, He becomes a very different person. “Satan led men to conceive of God as a being whose chief attribute is stern justice—one who is a severe judge, a harsh, exacting creditor. He pictured the Creator as a being who is watching with jealous eye to discern the errors and mistakes of men, that He may visit judgments upon them. It was to remove this dark shadow, by revealing to the world the infinite love of God, that Jesus came to live among men” (Steps to Christ, p. 11). Though we don’t admit it openly, sometimes this is the personal relationship we have with God. We say, “God, I’m going to do everything right because You have asked me to; otherwise I will be lost.”

First of all, understanding that God is love attracts you to Him. Why would you not want to have a personal relationship with someone who loves you? Why would we want to push away someone who says, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5, last part). As we start reading the Bible, it becomes alive as every experience is a testament to God’s love, including the bits where God seems exacting and cruel. “The matchless love of God for a world that did not love Him! The thought has a subduing power upon the soul and brings the mind into captivity to the will of God. The more we study the divine character in the light of the cross, the more we see mercy, tenderness, and forgiveness blended with equity and justice, and the more clearly we discern innumerable evidences of a love that is infinite and a tender pity surpassing a mother’s yearning sympathy for her wayward child” (Ibid., p. 15).

God’s love begins to transform you and with it the desire and help to accomplish His desires in your life and to fulfill the law as Jesus did. Jesus Himself said to one of the Pharisees: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22:37–40). You see, the same condition as the Pharisees trying to trick Jesus, the same condition of Paul before his conversion, the same condition as, dare I say it, mine, is this condition of profession without love. Without love, I Am Nothing.

So how can I experience this love? A common saying is: “Tell me who you’re with, and I’ll tell you who you are.” The love that God offers only comes as a result of a deep and meaningful relationship with Him. In constantly beholding Him, we “are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18). Jesus is our example. Study His life and you will see that He took every opportunity to commune with His Father. He spoke to His Father constantly.

Sometimes it’s hard for us to relate to God because we expect to feel different immediately. However, like any worthwhile and deep relationship, it comes from consistent communion with God. Prayer also becomes a different experience. “Prayer is the opening of the heart to God as to a friend. Not that it is necessary in order to make known to God what we are, but in order to enable us to receive Him. Prayer does not bring God down to us, but brings us up to Him” (Ibid., p. 93). God becomes personal—and that is a wonderful experience.

So, if you’re feeling like you’re trying so hard but your efforts are in vain, remember that God loves you and longs for a personal relationship with you. Do you want to have a relationship with Him?

—Netty Nina writes from Massachusetts, U.S.A.