What then is emotional intelligence? It is the ability of an individual to identify, use, understand, and manage his emotions in positive ways. It is the skill of recognizing emotions in others, and managing our relationships, and motivating ourselves to achieve goals. So people who have high EI’s have control of their feelings and emotions. They are honest, responsible, and adaptable to change while being open-minded, having reasonable expectations of themselves and others.

Science now documents that which the Bible has written thousands of years ago—that chronic stress and negative emotions can affect the onset, treatment or recovery from several diseases such as cancer, depression, heart disease, diabetes, tuberculosis, rheumatoid arthritis, hypertension, ulcers, and AIDS.

Even ailments like headaches, allergies, common colds, PMS, skin rashes, and gout are affected by stress and our emotions.

“While grief and anxiety cannot remedy a single evil, they can do great harm; but cheerfulness and hope, while they brighten the pathway of others, ‘are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh’ (Proverbs 4:22).”3 Below are listed some studies which show the relationship between emotions and disease.

Increased pain—Women with and without fibromyalgia had increased pain in response to angry and sad thoughts.4

Cancer—Negative emotions are a risk factor for developing cancer. A China study found that experiencing negative emotions was among the top risk factors for colon cancer along with diet, family history, and previous lower digestive tract ailments.5

Stroke—Anger and other negative emotions may be triggers for a stroke. People who had suffered a stroke were more likely to have been angry or had another negative emotion two hours prior to the event.6

“The giving way to violent emotions endangers life. Many die under a burst of rage and passion. Many educate themselves to have spasms. These they can prevent if they will, but it requires willpower to overcome a wrong course of action.”7

Heart disease—There’s a strong association between developing heart disease and frequent high levels of anger, anxiety, and depression.8

Depression—People who were depressed were 10 times more likely to die of another heart attack, within 18 months of their first one, than people who were not depressed.9

Slow wound healing—A study from Ohio University showed that those who had less control over their anger tended to heal more slowly from wounds.10

While negative thoughts and emotions are detrimental to our health, positive ones boost our health and immunity. Calming thoughts and emotions have a beneficial effect on the circulation, digestion, movement of the intestines, and the maintenance of proper hormonal balance. This class of thoughts includes patience, love, joy, contentment, peace, kindness, sympathy, and self-control. This kind of mental activity will increase blood production and antibodies and make the bones and muscles stronger.11

For this reason, God’s Word repeatedly teaches us to be cheerful and positive. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13). Cheerfulness is good for the heart, the mind as well as for the bones.

“Cheerfulness and a clear conscience are better than drugs and will be an effective agent in your restoration to health.”12

Why are bones so important to our health? White blood cells, which are critical for a healthy immune system, are made in the bone marrow. Our red blood cells, which carry vital oxygen to all parts of the body, are also formed in the bone marrow. In addition, platelets, which form blood clots are made there as well. This is why our Great Physician gives us the best prescription for a healthy immune system: a joyful heart. Kind and pleasant words are also involved in strengthening our bones and immunity. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

On the other hand, sin as well as grief, worry, and anxiety will have a negative affect on our health and immunity. David says, “Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly. For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed” (Psalm 31:9, 10).

How do negative emotions affect our body? The state of our biochemistry can affect the way we feel. One way to change our biochemistry is by eating healthful, nutritional food and exercising regularly. But did you realize that our thoughts can also change our biochemistry? The sentences we speak in our self-talk can actually alter our glandular, muscular, and neural behavior. Psychologists are discovering that our thoughts influence our feelings. But this truth has been known in God’s Word for thousands of years. The wise man tells us, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). So this is clear: “If the thoughts are wrong the feelings will be wrong, and the thoughts and feelings combined make up the moral character.”13

We don’t have to be puppets of our emotions. The Word of God has the tools to help us deal with sadness, worry, fear, anger and gives us the power to have joy, peace, and love.

Underlying much of our behavior is our belief system. Our feelings and emotions are caused by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances in words or in attitudes. Think for a moment about what you tell yourself. If you tell yourself that your brother at church is against you, you will believe that whether it’s true or not, and then you will treat him as an enemy. What we tell ourselves can be either truth or a lie. Misbeliefs usually appear as truth to the person repeating them to himself. But the apostle James tells us where this destructive self-talk comes from: “This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work” (James 3:15, 16). The misbeliefs we tell ourselves come directly from the father of lies. Our flesh accepts them without question, and then, like rotten food, these words of mental poison create painful emotional aches and pains. This mental diet of toxins can kill us if we don’t fight it with God’s power.

Another way we may poison our mind is by reading novels, misusing the internet, watching movies or videos which excite the mind, trigger negative emotions, and cause a diseased imagination. Inspiration tells us, “Thousands are today in the insane asylum whose minds became unbalanced by novel reading, which results in air-castle building and love-sick sentimentalism.”14

“There is no influence in our land more powerful to poison the imagination, to destroy religious impressions, and to blunt the relish for the tranquil pleasures and sober realities of life than theatrical amusements. The love for these scenes increases with every indulgence as the desire for intoxicating drink strengthens with its use. The only safe course is to shun the theater, the circus, and every other questionable place of amusement.”15

The best book, which will produce a sound mind and balanced emotions, help us to have good judgment, encourage us, and give us true joy and peace, is the Bible. Jeremiah says “Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts” (15:16). “The Bible is the book of books. It will give you life and health. It is a soother of the nerves and imparts solidity of mind and firm principle.”16 Dear friend, how much time to you spend reading God’s Word compared to other reading material?

So if we want to control our feelings and actions, we must begin by eliminating all the poisonous food from our mental diet and feeding ourselves with the Words of Life from heaven. Jesus told us how we can do this: “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). The truth from God’s Word, studied and obeyed, will expose our misbeliefs and will help to set us free from bitterness, sadness, resentment, anger, fear, hypersensitivity, and excessive suspicion.

Our thoughts precede our feelings and emotions. So when we daily feed our mind with God’s Word, we will be able to control our thoughts, emotions, and actions. There are three steps to becoming, positive, joyful in the Lord:

• We must identify our misbeliefs.

• We need to remove them.

• We must replace our misbeliefs with truth.

Here are some examples of common misconceptions and how we can replace them with the truth.

MYTH: I’m always worried and frustrated.

TRUTH: I will place every worry on Jesus because He can handle it. Then I will thank Him for answering my prayer and will cooperate with Him. “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6, 7).

MYTH: I pray for forgiveness of sins, but I don’t feel that Jesus hears me.

TRUTH: “But shall we wait till we feel that we are cleansed? No; Christ has promised that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). . . . You are not to wait for wonderful emotions before you believe that God has heard you; feeling is not to be your criterion, for emotions are as changeable as the clouds.”17

MYTH: I am afraid that my wife’s cancer will not respond to treatments and that she will die.”

TRUTH: She is getting the best treatment and we’re doing our best to use natural remedies to make her well. I will leave her case in the hands of the Great Physician. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

MYTH: Our family has so many trials; I can’t take it anymore.

TRUTH: I will make it because I know that God measures every trial He allows to come my way and with His help I will be able to bear it or He will find a way out. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

MYTH: It’s impossible to feel happy living with a person like Jack.

TRUTH: I can be happy even if Jack doesn’t always treat me as I wish. My joy comes from the Lord. “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore” (Psalm 16:11).

We cannot control our emotions, but God can! How? “You cannot control your impulses, your emotions, as you may desire; but you can control the will, and you can make an entire change in your life. By yielding up your will to Christ, your life will be hid with Christ in God and allied to the power which is above all principalities and powers. You will have strength from God that will hold you fast to His strength; and a new light, even the light of living faith, will be possible to you.”18

As we surrender our will to Christ, His Spirit takes control of us, and we have the power to change. Our will and His power help us to have this experience: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2, emphasis added). “When the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart, it transforms the life. Sinful thoughts are put away, evil deeds are renounced; love, humility, and peace take the place of anger, envy, and strife. Joy takes the place of sadness, and the countenance reflects the light of heaven.”19 That happens when by faith we surrender ourselves to God.

If you just received news that someone was so angry with your husband and was on his way to kill him and all his employees, how would you react? Would you freeze with fear? Would you call the police, or would you cry to God for wisdom? This was the situation faced by Abigail. One of her husband’s employees had just given her the news that David was coming with 400 men to kill her husband Nabal and every male in his household. David and his men were in the wilderness of Paran and in great need of food and provisions. Since it was a time of sheep shearing, and a season of hospitality, David sent ten men to ask Nabal, a wealthy farmer, for some food. David expected a gracious response in return for the kindness he had shown to Nabal’s servants and flocks. But Nabal replied rudely to the young men, “Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? . . . Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?” (1 Samuel 25:10, 11). Nabal was “churlish and evil in his doings” (verse 3). A churlish man is rude, rough in temper, selfish and avaricious.

When the young men returned empty-handed, David’s anger spiraled into a volcano. Taking his sword, and commanding his 400 men to do likewise, he was ready to punish Nabal who had denied him his request. Angry! Revengeful! Was this David, the man after God’s own heart, acting that way? “This impulsive movement was more in harmony with the character of Saul than with that of David, but the son of Jesse had yet to learn lessons of patience in the school of affliction.”20

What misbeliefs was David telling himself? Perhaps that “if he didn’t get food right then, that he and his men would all die.” He forgot the truths he wrote that God will provide all his needs. He missed a great opportunity to practice faith and to see God open the windows of heaven for him and his men.

Who would stop David from committing murder? God used Abigail, “a woman of good understanding.” One of Nabal’s servants had secretly escaped and told her of David’s previous kindness to Nabal’s servants, David’s present request, and Nabal’s refusal to help. David was on his way with his army to kill Nabal and his household. Abigail acted quickly and with great wisdom. She did not panic with fear. I believe she prayed for wisdom and trusted that God would protect her family if she did her part.

Without telling her husband, Abigail sent a great supply of food to David with her servants. She must have had a well-stocked pantry to have sent 200 loaves of bread, 2 bottles of wine, 5 measures of parched corn, 5 sheep, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs. Then she mounted an ass and hurried to meet David. When she saw David, she got off the ass and knelt before him with her face to the ground.

• Abigail addressed David with respect and submission. Fourteen times she called him “my lord.”

• She put the blame on herself, not on her husband, and she asked forgiveness.

• She used kind words to dissuade David from murder.

“With kind words [Abigail] sought to sooth his irritated feelings, and she pleaded for him in behalf of her husband. With nothing of ostentation or pride, but full of the wisdom and love of God, Abigail revealed the strength of her devotion to her household; and she made it plain to David that the unkind course of her husband was in no wise premeditated against him as a personal affront but was simply the outburst of an unhappy and selfish nature.”21

• Abigail didn’t take the credit to herself.

“‘Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal’ (verse 26). Abigail did not take to herself the credit of this reasoning to turn David from his hasty purpose but gave to God the honor and praise.”22

• Abigail implied what David ought to do.

“ ‘I pray thee, she said, ‘forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the Lord, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days’ (verse 28). Abigail presented by implication the course that David ought to pursue. He should fight the battles of the Lord. He was not to seek revenge for personal wrongs, even though persecuted as a traitor.”23

Where did Abigail get such wisdom? How did she know to respond so intelligently at a moment’s notice? “The piety of Abigail, like the fragrance of a flower, breathed out all unconsciously in face and word and action. The Spirit of the Son of God was abiding in her soul. Her speech, seasoned with grace, and full of kindness and peace, shed a heavenly influence. . . . ‘Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God’ (Matthew 5:9). Would that there were many more like this woman of Israel, who would soothe the irritated feelings, prevent rash impulses, and quell great evils by words of calm and well-directed wisdom.”24

What about David? As he listened to the wise reasoning and reproof of this woman of faith, he came to his senses “and he trembled as he thought what might have been the consequences of his rash purpose. . . . David’s passion died away under the power of her influence and reasoning. He was convinced that he had taken an unwise course and had lost control of his own spirit.”25. David praised God for sending Abigail to give him wise counsel. “With a humble heart he received the rebuke, in harmony with his own words, ‘Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil’ (Psalm 141:5). He gave thanks and blessings because she advised him righteously. There are many who, when they are reproved, think it praiseworthy if they receive the rebuke without becoming impatient; but how few take reproof with gratitude of heart and bless those who seek to save them from pursuing an evil course.”26

Nabal was completely oblivious to the foolishness of his speech and actions, and how close he had come to death. When Abigail returned home, he was drunk and feasting like a king in his house. Wisely, Abigail said nothing to him about the day’s events. As morning broke, Nabal awoke with a clearer head, and so Abigail informed him of all that happened the previous day. The color drained from his face as he began to comprehend the magnitude of his folly. Our text tells us that “his heart died within him, and he became as a stone” (verse 37). Perhaps he had a stroke. Ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died. This amazing story teaches us how David’s misbeliefs led him to almost commit murder. Abigail wisdom and courage in this life-threatening situation proved she was greater than an army general. She saved her household from death and prevented David and his men from shedding blood. Abigail was a true daughter of Christ, taking the blame on herself for something she never did, asking forgiveness for sins she never committed, and offering peace offerings. May God give us her wisdom, her spirit of kindness and self-control that we also may be peacemakers in our homes, work places, and in our churches!

Dear brethren and sisters, do we realize that our fluctuating emotions hurt the heart of Christ? “God’s children are not to be subject to feelings and emotions. When they fluctuate between hope and fear, the heart of Christ is hurt; for He has given them unmistakable evidence of His love. He wants them to be established, strengthened, and settled in the most holy faith. He wants them to do the work He has given them; then their hearts will become in His hands as sacred harps, every chord of which will send forth praise and thanksgiving to the One sent by God to take away the sins of the world.”27

How have been your thoughts and emotions, dear reader? What kind of music have you been playing in your mind—the harmonious chords of gratitude and praise, joy, contentment, and trust? Or have you allowed the discordant chords of worry, sadness, anger, fear, and discontent take over your life and mar the sacred harp that God has given you?

Today can be a new day. Today we can change our brain chemistry and start restoring our mental, physical, and spiritual health. Today we can choose to feed our mind with the best organic whole food—the Word of God! We can reject the poisonous food that Satan and the media are trying to serve on our plates. As we surrender our life to Christ, each day and hour, we can be positive irrespective of our circumstances. Together with the apostle Paul, we can experience true joy. “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). R