As you saw a picture of my teen years’ experience, you may find yourself feeling the same way, unhappy for many reasons. You don’t understand why there must be a curfew when you go out, you don’t understand why parents have to say something on your choice of friends, you don’t understand why they comment on your clothing, etc.—and you just find yourself unhappy, venting, shutting yourself down or even yelling in your heart if not verbalizing it to them. Then you may think, why should I care for them when they don’t even love me?

Has this happened to you? How did you deal with such thoughts? It would be good if we could ask ourselves: Why do they do things this way? and then reason on the question. The short answer would be because they love us so much and they want what is truly best for us, for our future, and even for eternity. They can see the end results of our actions and they want to help us avoid certain mistakes.

It is true that mothers and fathers manifest their love differently. The mother’s love maybe more visible. She is always hugging the child; she is more sentimental, and the child always remembers that—and in some cases, they think that only mom loves them.

The father loves with his shoulders. He is always bearing the home’s responsibilities.

We live in an age when sometimes the mother’s salary may be higher than the father’s wage. But even then, it is the father that is always worried for the home to be warmed; it is the father that makes sure that everything is functioning indoors and outdoors so that everyone may be comfortable and happy. In this way it is harder to see that the father loves you as much as the mother does since he is not always present in a visible way. But they love the same.

The parents show their children by their unconditional love the first image of God. When we think about the love that God manifested towards us, it is the same unconditional and sincere love that the parents have for their children. This love goes beyond the times you can remember. The Bible says about Jeremiah, that even before he was formed he was known by God (Jeremiah 1:5). Before you were even formed God knew you, before you were even born, your parents loved you. They were worried when there was no noticeable movement when you were still in the womb or if they couldn’t find the heartbeat right away. They watched over you in infancy and nursed you in sickness. They suffered much anxiety on your account.

“Especially have conscientious, godly parents felt the deepest interest that their children should take a right course. As they have seen faults in their children, how heavy have been their hearts! . . . . If they could see their mother’s tears and hear her prayers to God in their behalf, if they could listen to her suppressed and broken sighs, their hearts would feel and they would speedily confess their wrongs and ask to be forgiven.”—The Adventist Home, p. 292.

“Children, it is necessary that your mothers love you, or else you would be very unhappy. And is it not also right that children love their parents, and show this love by pleasant looks, pleasant words, and cheerful, hearty cooperation, helping the father out-of-doors and the mother indoors?” Ibid., p. 295.

Our parents are loving us with unconditional love, but imagine how great their happiness would be when they receive love and respect in return. As we read about the child Jesus, He was always bringing a smile on His mother’s face. “Even in His childhood [Christ] spoke words of comfort and tenderness to young and old. His mother could not but mark His words, His spirit, His willing obedience to all her requirements.”—The Youth’s Instructor, September 8, 1898.

Respect is manifested by obedience. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1–3). “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 1:8).

“Parents are entitled to a degree of love and respect which is due to no other person. God Himself, who has placed upon them a responsibility for the souls committed to their charge, has ordained that during the earlier years of life, parents shall stand in the place of God to their children. And he who rejects the rightful authority of his parents is rejecting the authority of God. The fifth commandment requires children not only to yield respect, submission, and obedience to their parents, but also to give them love and tenderness, to lighten their cares, to guard their reputation, and to succor and comfort them in old age. It also enjoins respect for ministers and rulers and for all others to whom God has delegated authority.”—Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 308.

“If you are truly converted, if you are children of Jesus, you will honor your parents; you will not only do what they tell you but will watch for opportunities to help them. In doing this you are working for Jesus. He considers all these care-taking, thoughtful deeds as done to Himself. This is the most important kind of missionary work; and those who are faithful in these little everyday duties are gaining a valuable experience.”—The Adventist Home, p. 295.

“When children have unbelieving parents, and their commands contradict the requirements of Christ, then, painful though it may be, they must obey God and trust the consequences with Him.”—Ibid., p. 293. But even then, we should not hate them but “bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not” (Romans 12:14).

“If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans; learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught.

“If children would be more familiar with their parents, if they would confide in them and unburden to them their joys and sorrows, they would save themselves many a future heartache. When perplexed to know what course is right, let them lay the matter just as they view it before their parents, and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand their peculiar temperaments so well as they? Children who are Christians will esteem above every earthly blessing the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents. The parents can sympathize with the children and pray for and with them that God will shield and guide them. Above everything else they will point them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor.”—Ibid., p. 73.

“Children who dishonor and disobey their parents, and disregard their advice and instructions, can have no part in the earth made new. The purified new earth will be no place for the rebellious, the disobedient, the ungrateful, son or daughter. Unless such learn obedience and submission here, they will never learn it; the peace of the ransomed will not be marred by disobedient, unruly, unsubmissive children. No commandment breaker can inherit the kingdom of heaven.”—Testimonies for the Church, vol. 1, pp. 497, 498.

There were other things that made me unhappy besides the experience that I’ve shared with you. I didn’t like that I had a busier schedule than all my friends. While everyone was playing soccer on the street or swimming in the river next to our property, we had to work in the garden. I disliked that in such a way that I got to the point of hating to garden as well. But as I look back throughout the years, most of those whom I envied, did not even finish their studies. But because we obeyed even when we did not understand the Why, I can look back and thank my parents for rearing us the way they did.

As we grow up, we will start understanding more and more our parents’ love for us, but many times it may be too late to share it with them. However, the apostle Paul when quoting the fifth commandment mentions that it “is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2, 3). Obeying, we may live a longer life here on this earth, free of remorse, maybe healthier than those who destroy their health by neglecting their parents’ guidance—and also we may have life eternal where we can live together with Jesus and with our parents. What a joy it would be for a faithful mother and a faithful father to see in God’s kingdom the son and the daughter that they nurtured and brought up from conception and infancy!